Haaaa, bet you didn’t know that. Anyways, I told him the less you know the better.
It’s not a secret relationship.
We walk the streets holding hands, hugging and kissing.. You know all that good, good.
But I can’t help but to think about this connection I desire.
Don’t get wrong..
(I haven’t gotten personal with tumblr in a while..)
He’s a great guy and all. Hilarious, always in tears with him. I can talk to him about a lot but I don’t know what’s missing.
I don’t often think about it.
But it crosses my mind & when it does it takes over.
One thing I freaking love and it keeps me from leaving him is me being myself when he’s around.
You already know my tragic heartbreak over someone I had the only crush on.. I swore we were perfect for each other bc the connection was there etc etc & it’s true the connection was there but he told me something that really threw me off.. “We’re too much alike” and I questioned myself, “are we really?”. After putting thought into it I discovered that we weren’t alike at all. Our perspectives were in sync. We understood each other. We liked the same music and style. But there were things about me that made me ME, that he wouldn’t like, but he never stood around to see them.
I’m hella Spanish. I could cook up a storm & listen to salsa while cleaning.
He doesn’t like that, from what I’m told.
I’m ambitious and when I’m passionate about something I’m all for it.
He rather stay home and play video games & I rather get lost in Brooklyn.
I don’t mind kicking ass in COD but there are times where I would love to get lost. Find a cafe and just sit and talk.
Anyways, back to my lovely boyfriend.
I’ve grown to love him, a lot.
He’s such a great guy and supportive guy.
In-love? Nah. It takes a lot for me to fall in love & usually I’m the first to fall.
He lives life logically? I guess you can say.
& I don’t.
I won’t break up with him because you never know.. I may just fall in-love with all his imperfections.
But the question is.. will he love all of my broken pieces?
Will he understand that I am a broken person & being broken is what makes me, me?
There’s no fixing me. I’m not meant to be fix, but to be accepted.
Official Girl | Cassie (ft. Lil Wayne)
Carrie (1976) dir. Brian De Palma
From Demon Days